The Rintrah Perspective

With the bird flu now in Britain it seems that the flu is an unstoppable force. In fact, some pigeons from Canada were flown (via airplane, not self-propelled) to Australia and some bird-flu anti-bodies were found in them. Mind you that it was only anti-bodies and not the real thing. But people are starting to get scared.

And that is where I come in. I remember a joke a friend of mine told me when I was in grade 7. And it goes like this:

Some tourists stopped on the side of a corn-field and started talking with a farmer. Some birds were flying overhead and one of the tourists asked “What kind of birds are they?” To which the farmer replied “That there is called a Flue.” And the tourists all pulled out their cameras and started snapping pictures.

Suddenly one of the tourists screamed. “What is this?! What is this on my head?!” To which the farmer replied nonchalantly “That is Flue shit on your head.” The tourist wiped it off and promptly fell over and died. A second tourist screamed, wiped the Flue shit off her head and she died. The same happened to a third tourist.

Suddenly, a Flue shit on the farmers head but he appeared to just ignore it. The tourists all seemed puzzled because the farmer did not wipe the shit off and the farmer did not die. The farmer noticed their curiosity and said, very calmly, “If the Flue shits, wear it.”

My advice is to just go on with your damn life and stop worrying about the damn bird flue, or monkey pox, or killer Americanized bees, or the Bush administration. To every thing there is a time. To everything there is a season. The Bird Flu will have its season but it will not last forever. The only thing that is forever is nuclear radiation and, seemingly, Aids. Once the Bird Flu hits North America and claims its first victims there will be a solution. Pat Robertson told me so, because Jesus loves us and hates the rest of the world.