The Rintrah Perspective

The Canadian Conservative Party is the urinal cake of society: I want to piss on it and watch it dissolve. The Conservatives claim that the Liberal party will be brought down by Gomery’s inquiry. While I would love to watch the rat-bastard Liberals finally take a hit for this scandal, I would hate for the Conservatives to take power.

Supposedly the only people that Canada can trust to fix the mess is the Conservatives or so the Conservatives would want us to believe. I find that humorous. Here is a list of things the Conservatives, the Progressive Conservatives or any other party that spawned or was spawned by the Conservatives with which they have not been trustworthy.

Contracts – John A. MacDonald took bribes and awarded contracts accordingly (commonly referred to as the Pacific Scandal

Contracts – John JC Abbot was also implicated in the Pacific Scandal and he ruled government from the Senate (which I believe the Conservatives would like erased from Canada altogether).

Staying true to roots – John Thompson was a nationalist but did not want to be in dependant of England because he feared the US would swallow up Canada (he saw Hawaii as an example). [Really it is today's Conservatives who cannot be trusted to stay true, but I needed to put it in.] Here is his Bio (read especially the part of his Prime Minister days).

Staying True to Roots (Part 2) – Robert Borden nationalized the railway. Sounds a little socialist to me.

Staying True to Roots (Part 3) – Richard Bennett tried to fight the Great Depression by expanding trade with the British Colonies and enacting tariffs for non-colony states – which included the US of A. Seems a little anti-American for a Conservative.

Staying True to Roots (Part 4) – John Diefenbaker was hostile to the US, did not permit US nuclear weapons in Canada, raised tariffs, constructed the Bill of Rights, and disliked Canada’s dependence on the American economy. (I just might like the guy.)

Principles – Mackenzie Bowell faced dissent in his party over his solution to the Manitoba Schools Question. Rather than holding true to his principals he resigned because an election was coming up and he may lose. Principles appear to not have been taught in his school.

Doing Anything – Charles Tupper and his government were brought down after just 69 days over. At least the Liberals are able to hold onto power for a bit right. He was the oldest PM ever and has had the shortest term.

Freedom – Robert Borden was PM when the War Measures act was created, an act that removes all freedoms from citizens. Also, he used military troops to stop civilians from protesting and forming unions. This event was called the Winnipeg General Strike.

Freedom (Part 2) – Richard Bennett was scared of Commies (or, more correctly, the Cooperative Commonwealth Federation [CCF]). He used the Canadian Criminal Code to imprison people who would supposedly want to violently overthrow the government even if they have never committed a violent act. Bennett had Tim Buck arrested and then Buck was a victim of an assassination attempt during a prison riot even though he was confined to his cell and not participating in the riot. Bennett had to admit that the attempt on Buck’s life was orchestrated by his government. Buck was eventually released and became a civil liberties hero.

Freedom (Part 3) – Richard Bennett tried to fix the Great Depression by relocating all the unemployed to relief camps that were far removed from any urban centre. Basically making it illegal to be unemployed and then hiding these scum from public view.

Forming Government – Arthur Meighen ran against Mackenzie King and Meighen won a plurality of seats but, due to an anomaly in Canadian politics, King maintained his role as PM. King realized he would lose a vote and the government would be brought down so he asked the Governor General to call an election but GG Byng said no. King resigned as PM and then Meighen was PM. Then PM Meighen had a vote that failed and the government was brought down. He ran for office and was defeated. He went to the Senate and then ran for office again and was defeated.

Helping the Poor – Richard Bennett was the discoverer of the Bennett Buggy which is an automobile pulled by a horse because people were too poor to buy gas.

Helping the Poor (Part 2) – Richard Bennett after not helping the poor by putting them in camps and inventing funny looking cars, Bennett had to deal with those sent to the camps. The “On-To Ottawa Trek” was a group of those people sent to encampments who commandeered a train and set out for Ottawa picking up other people along the way. Bennett had the RCMP stop them in Regina . They were prevented from returning to the train and were forced to walk to where ever they were going. Most just settled in Regina. But eight walked to Ottawa but were denied a meeting with PM Bennett. (I am getting tired of hearing about this guy. “Worst PM ever.”) Bennett lost the next election.

Aeronautics – Diefenbaker cancelled the Avro Arrow. Enough said.

Taxes – Joe Clark said he would not raise taxes but then put a tax on gas or something.

Loyalty – Joe Clark – well not just Joe Clark but all Conservatives. They join together, they split apart, they join together, they split apart. Then Joe says you should support the devil you know rather than the devil you don’t. The devil you know, according to Clark, is Paul Martin. The devil you don’t is Stephen Harper. Now that is loyalty to a party, a cause, an ideology and everything: supporting a party, cause and an ideology that you don’t support. Brilliant manuevre Joe.

Money – Brian Mulroney‘s term as PM saw the deficit grow and grow even though he tried to cut it. Then he imposed the GST which everyone loves. His last days in office were a lavish “farewell” tour on which he spent tax-payer dollars. Something even Conservatives would frown on.

Cronyism – Brian Mulroney appointed one of his party buddies to the Governor General post – namely Ray Hnatyshyn. Other than being a hard name to spell but a fun one to say, this looks like cronyism that the Conservatives point fingers at.

Public Relations – Kim Campbell (although her real name is Avril Phaedra Douglas Campbell – she hated her real name) could not relate to the “average Joe.” And that is why she did not win the PM spot through an actual election. She made fun of Jean Chretien’s facial paralysis. She could not talk to good ol’ regular folks without sounding condescending. She said that “an election is no time to discuss serious issues”. [Editor's Note: This is actually where Stephen Harper cannot be trusted either. For God's sake, he is a freaking robot.]

If the Liberals cannot be trusted to fix their mess and the Conservatives cannot be trusted with anything then who is left? Maybe the NDP? Maybe the Marxist-Leninist? Maybe saying fuck-it to the whole system is the best idea. The only person I trust was my dog and my parents put her to sleep.