The Rintrah Perspective

In an unprecedented move the Conservatives finally tabled a motion for a vote of non-confidence. The is unprecedented because the lame-ass opposition parties have been busy positioning themselves so that someone else would make a move first. This reminds of school dances (especially on sitcoms) where the boys are on one side of the room and the girls are on the other. No one wants to make the first move. Everyone is too chicken shit. But now, in another cliche, the shit has hit the fan. Harper, being the daring, bold, avant garde robot that he is, set his mechanical gears in motion and started the process of toppling the Tower of Pisa that is the Liberal minority government.

Once the non-confidence die has been cast we can expect the political evangelists to leave their abodes and come to ours waving tracts of a glorious tomorrow. The twist is this: instead of dieing in order to experience this heaven we all will want to die just because the process is so damn painful. “Mr.X is corrupt.” “Mr. Y is a bigot.” “Ms. Z kicked a puppy.”Mrs.V once baked a pie and did not share.”

Ooooh, there are goodies too. Everyone who comes to the door will be bearing gifts. This is wonderfully timed because they will be showing up during the Winter Holidays. These gifts, while not gold, frankincense or myrrh, will be just as lofty and fragrant. We will get tax-cuts, promises of a one or two tier health care system, and flaming bags of shit about the other gift bearers. It is going to be such a wonderful time. And we may get some blue books, red books, green books and maybe a rainbow book but no books that will ever make a best-sellers list.

Then, it gets better, early next year we get to choose who it is that will have been lying to us or, to put a positive spin on this, who it is that the losers will say lied to us. We will get to choose between a car salesman’s moustache, Droopy’s joules, and Sponge Bob’s brain.

People, apparently, want change. People are also scared of the Conservatives. And the NDP would only spend all of their money. The Green Party is, well, the Green Party. So it seems that our multi-party system does not leave too many options. The Liberals should be ousted from their position but none of the opposition parties appear to mature enough to handle the task of forming government.

[Note: I was going to post images to help the reader identify with my comparison to each of the party leaders but I was not feeling creative enough to edit any images. I did find a site showing then and now images from Weird Al's movie UHF]

[Note 2: I did not mention the PQ leader until here because, well, I guess I just did not feel I wanted to at this point. So suck it.]