Archive for January 2006

Grouchy Smurf

I am, apparently, Grouchy Smurf. Although I prefer the word “grunchy” to “grouchy” I will accept. Grunchy is a combination of grouchy and grumpy. But there is no Grunchy Smurf. And it seems, according to the stats I get out of the test, that I Terry Foxed it. I was either 50% or nothing. But here is the proof that … Continue reading

Did You See Me?

That was me walking downtown. And it was me buying two shirts at the Bay and some paper at Staples. It was also me having some lunch in the food court at Portage Place. You would recognize me because I was wearing a trucker’s baseball cap that read “Keep on Rollin’” and I was listening to the Velvet Underground and … Continue reading

Rinse, Lather, Repeat.

My theory about shampoo is that there is only one reason for it. And that is to make your hair smell nice. Basically what shampoo does is take out the oils in the hair and put in artificial ingredients with strange names so that we assume they are good. And then we do it again and again just so the … Continue reading

Op-Editorialization – 2

How to Make Friends… A giant octopus attacked a small submarine but no one knows of its intentions. Friend, or foe. It was too aggressive and was unable to successful impregnate the submarine. What would the children look like? This is the unanswered question. What we do know is that the octopus held on too tight and the submarine left. … Continue reading

Expertise on 5h!t

The way I understand it, the US invaded Iraq to bring democracy to the region. But the US tried to stay out of the Canadian election in order to allow Conservatives to win. Some US conservatives think that Canada is “hedonistic” and “liberal.” Hedonistic? Blah blah blah, plank in your own eye, blah, before, blah blah, speck in mine. As … Continue reading