The Rintrah Perspective

That was me walking downtown. And it was me buying two shirts at the Bay and some paper at Staples. It was also me having some lunch in the food court at Portage Place. You would recognize me because I was wearing a trucker’s baseball cap that read “Keep on Rollin’” and I was listening to the Velvet Underground and then later the Arcade Fire. But I am not surprized that you did not see or recognize me. You probably were not looking for me. That I realize. But I don’t think you realize that the “thing” you are looking for in your life is actually me. You just have to shift your focus.

There is a fountain that spits water into the air at Portage Place. When I was a kid these kind of fountains mesmerized me somehow. Especially the one at a Woolco that we used to go to but i don’t know even in which city that was. Today this fountain mesmerized me again but not because of the water being vomitted into the air but because of the signs behind the water. If I could focus on the water alone I would have found what I was looking for but I had a hard time seeing what was in front of my face.

While in the Bay I passed by the make-up counter when one male was putting blush, rouge, eyeliner and chap-stick (I don’t know what people put on their faces) on another male. By all accounts these were attractive men with make-up. (My gauge to determine beauty in men with make-up is answered by the question “Do they look like members of the KISS Army?” If the answer is no, then they are pretty men.)

I was later eating in the food court and I noticed that quite a few people had other face embellishments like nose, lip, eyebrow, ear and other piercings. I really like this kind of enhancement but I don’t think I would look good with one. This just made me realize that I don’t want to wear make-up or have a piercing at this point in my life.

As I left Portage Place I contemplated this. Then I walked down Osbourne Street toward the Legislature. Lo and behold there he was, in all his glory. The Golden Boy. I personally think that the re-gelding of the Golden Boy was an expensive and somewhat useless move on the governments part. But, my god, it was beautiful and magestic. Not worth the money paid on it, but at that exact moment “Rebellion (Lies)” by Arcade Fire was playing and it all seemed so perfect. The beauty in front of me and the sweet sounds in my ears. I just had to see things slightly differently in order to appreciate what was in my face. Looking through my window I can see the Golden Boy through the trees. It is not the same.

I just finished reading Perfume by Patrick Suskind. Basically it is about a boy/man who spends his life searching for love but in the end he realizes that the love people are seeking is not the love they actually are receiving. Or the reasons for loving are all wrong.

And that is why I know that you are looking for me. You need me. And when I say you I mean anyone who needing someone to fill a job opening. Or that special person who is looking for love. I can do that.

As I reached my appartment I acheived a level of perfection I have often strived for. I reached for my keys, unlocked the door, and as the deadbolt clanked open the music stopped. The album was done. Finished. Over. Life is good. I had a good day. Did you see me? Will you look for me tomorrow. I am what you are looking for.